


Nostalgia

by AtrisMistraven



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Girls Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, POV Catra (She-Ra), Post-Canon, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 5 Spoilers, Short One Shot, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24309862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtrisMistraven/pseuds/AtrisMistraven
Summary: SPOILERS FOR SHE-RA SEASON 5Catra has never known a life without war. She's grown so accustomed to it that it's hard to imagine not needing to fight, to scrape for every shred of respect, to constantly prepare for the worst. It all has her at a loss for what to do with herself.As she adjusts to the comforts of Bright Moon during the ebullient celebration of Horde Prime's defeat, a thought relentlessly digs at the back of her mind. Soon, her journey with Adora and her new friends to the worlds Prime destroyed will begin. And before that, there's something she needs to see, and some things she needs to say.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 163





	Nostalgia

“Iiiiiit’s _finished_!”

Catra’s fur stood on end as she spun to face the source of what had startled her. “Geeze,” she exhaled. Even after knowing Entrapta as long as she had, Catra had never gotten used to that boundless enthusiasm.

“One Horde skiff, repaired and ready to go!” Entrapta said. “Well, I suppose it’s a Bright Moon skiff now. Then again I _did_ spend a lot of time making tech for the Horde, so in a way it’s still–”

“ _Thanks_ , Entrapta,” Catra interjected. A small smile tugged at her lips. “Seriously, thanks for this.” She glanced down at Melog. Once they were done their walk around Bright Moon, Catra could finally take her new friend to a place she hadn’t been able to get off her mind since She-Ra’s magic reinvigorated the world. And they wouldn’t be the only ones going.

“Oh, it was my pleasure!” Entrapta’s grin was as obnoxiously wide as ever. No, Catra thought, not obnoxious. She’d always been unfair to Entrapta, never questioning her gut reaction to the Princess of Dryl when they were with the Horde. Anxiety and spite drove her, leaving no space for empathy or patience. But now, there was no reason to get impatient – she was on no one’s schedule but her own, after all – and that meant no more making up excuses for treating people badly.

“Just so you know,” Entrapta said, “I made a few modifications to the skiff. It should go a _lot_ faster now, but if it starts to shake itself apart from sheer velocity, let me know ‘cuz it’s not supposed to do that.”

“Noted,” Catra said uneasily. “Do you, uh, know where Adora is?”

* * *

“This brings back...memories,” Adora said. Her tone of voice didn’t suggest they were very good ones.

“I know,” Catra said. She gripped Adora’s hand tightly. “Last time we were on this thing was...when it all started. When we got stranded in the Whispering Woods and...”

“And I left,” Adora finished. Guilt washed over her face.

“No,” Catra said. She met Adora’s eyes, but only for a moment. “I mean, yeah, but... You left for a good reason. I was just too fucked up to see that back then.” She let go of her girlfriend’s hand and hopped up onto the skiff. As she sat, one knee propped up and the other dangling over the side of the skiff, Melog curled up next to her, nuzzling her leg. “ _I_ stayed. That was the problem. I spent so long wishing you’d stayed too. But then, if you had, we probably wouldn’t be here now.” Seeing Adora’s still melancholy expression, Catra forced a smile. “Hey, cheer up. You stayed with me when it mattered.”

Adora returned the smile weakly. “Only because you talked me into not giving up.”

“Glad you started taking my advice eventually.” Catra’s lips curled into a more genuine, playful grin. “See? Even a fuck-up like me gets things right once in a while.” She patted the spot next to her. Adora took it eagerly.

“You’re not a fuck-up,” Adora said as she intertwined her arm in Catra’s and leaned on her shoulder, a touch that prompted a contented purr. “You’ve made mistakes – we both have – but you also saved the universe, and that makes up for a lot.”

“ _We_ saved the universe,” Catra corrected. “And...I haven’t made up for everything. Anyway, I’m not arguing about how much of a fuck-up I may or may not be. That’s not why I asked Entrapta to fix this thing.”

“So, why did you?”

Catra freed her arm from Adora’s grip and patted Melog on the head. “Road trip.”

“Huh?” Adora gave a curious grin. “I thought we were already planning one.”

“There are no roads in space, Adora. Doesn’t count. Besides, there’s somewhere I wanna go, just the three of us.”

* * *

Much to Adora’s apparent shock, Catra went easy on the gas as they travelled, taking in the unfamiliar sights on what ought to have been a familiar path.

It was the same path that had brought them to the Whispering Woods in the first place, but now the barren wastes had been revitalized and were brimming with new life.

“I can’t believe it,” Adora said. “I mean, I guess I knew, kind of. I felt that magic sweep over everything. But seeing it is...”

“Yeah,” Catra said from the controls. “It’s so weird.”

It was Catra’s idea to come back to the Fright Zone, she reminded herself. She expected something like this, but she didn’t know how she would feel about it. She only knew that she had to face it. For so many reasons.

She stopped the skiff on a ledge overlooking what was now a gigantic field of grass and flowers. Saplings of trees had already taken root nearby. Catra stepped down from the skiff and sprawled out on the ground, right next to one of the baby trees. “Wonder what these’ll be like by the time we get back from space,” Catra said as Melog sat in a loaf position next to her. “Think this is what used to grow here?”

“Who knows?” Adora lowered herself to the ground on Catra’s other side. “I kinda doubt the Horde kept detailed botany records. We’ll probably never know for sure what things used to be like here.”

Catra grinned. “Ever miss the food bars?”

“ _No_ ,” Adora said, putting on a disgusted face.

“Oh come on, they weren’t _that_ bad.”

“You haven’t been eating real food for very long,” Adora said. “So it’s okay that you’re wrong.”

“Shut up!” Catra laughed and gave Adora a playful shove. “Not all of us can have such refined tastes as the great She-Ra.”

Adora laughed along with her. “I suppose I can’t complain about your tastes too much, _darling_ _._ ” She gave Catra a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Ugh, you’re such a dork,” Catra said, though the grin on her face betrayed her feelings.

“Like you’re not, bringing me all the way out here. But I think you forgot the picnic.”

Catra propped herself up on her elbows and gazed at the Horde fortress, now overrun with greenery. “You’re half right. I uh, did bring you out here for a pretty dorky reason. But not a picnic.”

Adora sat up alongside her girlfriend and crossed her legs. “Go on,” she said with a patient smile.

Catra pulled her knees up to her chest. “I guess it’s...a weird kind of nostalgia. Not a good kind. But not completely a bad kind either.” She ran a hand through her messy pixie haircut, contemplating. “I don’t know if I can explain it. Guess I didn’t think this through.”

“It’s okay. Just...do whatever works for you.”

“Whatever works for me... I guess...I can do this.” Catra looked to Melog, who met her eyes curiously. “I mean, I did want to bring you here too. Because...this is where Adora and I grew up.”

Melog wagged her tail and simply listened.

“We were Horde soldiers,” Catra continued. “That was all we knew. What we were raised to be. Before we knew Horde Prime even existed, we...helped someone like him do a lot of bad shit.” Regret and self-hatred welled up inside her. She absolutely didn’t want Melog to associate her with the person responsible for destroying her home, but this was one of the reasons she felt she had to come back to the Fright Zone: to face what she’d done and lay her soul bare. “It took me a long time to admit to myself how wrong I was. Adora figured it out way sooner than I did.”

“Catra, it’s okay,” Adora said, placing a supportive hand on her lover’s shoulder. “You don’t have to keep apologizing.”

Catra smiled sadly. “Thanks, but it’s really not okay. Maybe it will be someday, but...there’s still a lot I need to say out loud.”

Adora nodded. “I won’t let you wallow, got it?”

“Deal.” Catra raised her hand to her shoulder to hold Adora’s.

All the while, Melog looked on, non-judgemental. Catra knew her companion could sense her desperate need to get all this off her chest, no matter how painful it was. Emboldened by that kindness, she continued.

“I...tried to join Horde Prime, too. Even though he scared the shit out of me. Even though by then I could barely fight off the shame and convince myself I’d be fine. I didn’t even believe I was doing the right thing anymore. Hadn’t for a long time. I was doing what I always did when I was scared: trying to keep hold of _some_ amount of control. And then...”

Without thinking, Catra moved her hand to the back of her neck. The chip. The ultimate loss of control. Tears stung at her eyes. “Fuck...”

Catra felt Adora wrap her arms around her and Melog rub her face against her leg, one after the other. She managed a smile. “Thanks, you two. S-sorry, I didn’t mean to...” She trailed off and rubbed her eyes.

“It’s okay,” Adora said. “We both love you, you know. And we both forgive you.”

Melog let out a small growl, letting Catra know in that language only she could understand, _She’s right._

“Dammit, I’m trying _not_ to cry here,” Catra said. Her tears ran openly. “I told you I couldn’t explain. I didn’t bring you here to cry about my damage.”

“It’s okay if you do, though,” Adora said. Her grip on Catra was so firm, but gentle. When she felt that safe, Catra couldn’t help but purr.

“Listen, uh,” Catra said. “The last thing I have to say is just...I have a lot of bad memories of this place.” So many to do with Shadow Weaver, but Catra could only muster so much strength at a time, and talking about her complicated feelings toward their departed guardian was not something she was up for. “But despite everything, I have good memories too.” She freed herself from Adora’s embrace and stood. “You made growing up here bearable. Until...we left on this skiff. Then we got driven apart. That’s the last memory we have together in the Fright Zone. So...” She scratched the back of her head and looked away, bashful in the way she got when she knew she was about to say something embarrassing. “I think today, we should make a new memory.” She blushed. “We’re...gonna ride this thing to the Whispering Woods, like back then. And then we’re gonna go to Bright Moon together. Like...like I wish we’d done in the first place. We’re already making a new start, so, it’s...symbolic, or something.”

Catra expected Adora to laugh. Who wouldn’t at such a sappy display? But when she met those big blue eyes, and when she saw Adora’s lips curl up, it wasn’t an amused look she saw, but a deeply touched one.

Catra offered Adora her hand, and Adora took it without hesitation, rising to immediately close the space between them and capture Catra’s lips in hers.

When they finally broke from the kiss, both giddy and out of breath, Adora looked into Catra’s mismatched eyes and said, “That sounds perfect.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many more feelings about this show and about Catra's story in particular that this fic doesn't cover, but I wanted this to be just a short, hopeful glimpse at how I imagine she's coping in the immediate aftermath of season five. There are many things that are integral to Catra's story (Shadow Weaver not the least of them) that I just felt deserved more than a quick bit of introspection, and maybe I'll write more soon.


End file.
